I have been struggling with my singleness a lot over the last 6 months. There are many reason for that but the main one is that I have a hard time trusting that God has an amazing man out there for me. I start thinking that God has some lame guy for me that I will put up with just so I won't have to be alone. Deep down I know that God wants to give me good things. I have realized something. I don't talk about my struggle with my singleness with people. Partly because I figured all my married friends have no care to hear about it. Partly because well meaning people make me feel broken.
Common responses:
-Just focus on Jesus (makes me feel like it is wrong that I struggle with my singleness)
-Stop looking and someone will come along (What a load of crap! I guess I should just ignore all good looking, funny, godly mean. They will totally pursue a girl who seems uninterested.)
-Maybe you should try online dating (Been there done that. Online dating isn't a solution. I have give you a whole list of reason why it doesn't work for me.)
-Maybe you should be focused on who God wants you to be (Everyone has stuff to work on spiritually whether you are single or married. God isn't waiting on me to be perfect to show me who he has for me)
-Just enjoy being single (I have enjoyed my single life. It has allowed me to move around, have adventures, and have random fun with random friends. I am 32 years old. I done with the single life. I want someone to share my life with. I would like to have a kid someday and gets less likely everyday)
-There is someone out there for everyone. (This one I laugh off but nice try.)
-Your standards are too high maybe you need to compromise (I don't have high standards. All I want is a man who loves Jesus, makes me laugh, loves sports, and is good looking.)
Some people do have encouraging things to say to me.
-I love when people are super shocked that I have never had a boyfriend. Some days I really believe that makes complete sense.
-There is a man out there that will love you for you. He won't care about your weight. This one is still hard to believe. (Sorry men but you are the reason this is hard for me to believe)
-You are amazing and I pray that God will send you a guy that will see that too.
-That sucks! (It is ok to admit that it is hard to be single at the age of 32. Sometimes I just need to know I am normal and not super crazy.)
It is easy for me to be hard on myself. It is easy for me to think that I am so far from being perfect for God to bring me a man. It is easy for me to think that I would be a horrible wife and mother.
It is not easy for me to believe that a guy who meets me will be interested in me. It is not easy for me to believe that after no one asking me out that today will be the day that changes. It is not easy for me to believe that I have anything to offer a man except my deep love of sports.
If you have ever said any of the above comments, I still love you. I know where your heart is!
Not posting this to Facebook, so I will be shocked if anyone reads this! I really think I need to start posting some funny posts before you all think I have turned super emotional and serious.
