The Goal that is Most Important!!!

Oddly enough it was at a working training that I realized something so simple. I realized that everything I want in life is all about me. Not that any of those things are bad. I want to be debt-free one day. I want to enjoy my job. I want to be married with kids one day. I want to stop feeling like a failure at the age of 30. None of those things are wrong but not where my focus needs to be.

Funny how you can go to church, read the bible, have Christian friends, be in a Bible study, and love Jesus and get so caught up in the self help world. When asked today to write down one goal that I will work on for the next 30 days. I wrote to be debt free in 3 years. I really wanted to write down have a husband but how lame does that sound. Plus how in the world would I work on that for 30 days without being the most desperate woman I know. As people talked about what stuck out to them in the speech about goals, I realized that it was not what I needed to work on. I do need to be more careful with my money but not the main thing. I wrote underneath it to become a devoted follower of Christ. I really started to ponder what the really means. Then a message came to be that my pastor ( I am going to call him that even though I have only heard him preach twice) preached on a couple of weeks ago. We pursue what we care about. What am I pursuing? A husband since I joined eHarmony a few days ago. A better looking body since I starting watching what I eat and working out. The list can continue but I won't bore you with that. How many times a week am I reading in the Word? How many times a week am I truly praying for my friends? How well am I trying to withstand temptation? These are the goals that are important to me and yet this is not where I am putting my energy. That is what I want to be better at. Being good at my job is a good thing but all my goals focus on Christ. That makes me the person who is successful at life!

I miss accountability. Not saying that my shortcomings are because I don't have people in my life to help me. But I realize how much Christian community is so important in this world. I love my friends at work but I long for friends like Misty, Alisha, Lisa, and Ramona. People that I can share my deep desires and they know exactly what I am talking about. Just laugh about the craziest of stuff with. Someone who faces the darkest part of my life with me with no judgement. Hoping God brings someone like that soon. Also hoping Harvest starts a Sunday Bible Study!!

Thanks for reading all the way through. This is a bit more serious than normal and probably a bit all over the place. I love you all!

A Weekend of Fun and Insight

I just got back from a long weekend in Chicago. It was a great time with friends! This trip opened my eyes to the people who really care about me. The ones that came out to play ultimate in the cold and rain. The ones that came to dinner. The ones that opened their schedule just to make sure we got to hang out! The ones who took a half a day off to see me. The one that paid for my Sbux and got me tickets to a great concert. Thanks to all my friends that made this weekend great!

Reasons Airports and me do not mix
1. I got a body scan and a head pat down because of my hair style. (This was today's fun!)
2. I have been sprayed by someone's dropped bottle Sprite waiting to get on the plane.
3. I have had my bag searched 3 times at one airport, on the same day.
4. I come to fear TSA agents because they usually yell at me for something.
5. TSA agents would rather pat me down than ask me to remove my sweatshirts.

This weekend helped me see some things I need to change and somethings that I need to give back to God. Interesting how going to a concert and hearing a message that I have heard two years previous stirs up so many emotions. It also showed what I am missing from church. Praying hard about where to go to church because the church I love is over an hour away. Also pray for me as I give some things in my life back to God. It is going to be a day by day process but I know it is all for the better in the big picture. Feels great to have direction and conviction. Now to just put it all into practice!

Thanks for reading this little excerpt in the life of Dot!

I am Blessed!!!

Ever have a moment where you are overwhelmed by how blessed you are. That happened to me after work today. I think it started when my manager asked me if I enjoyed my job. I answered truthfully that I like my job. How much has changed in 3 months!! Only 4 months ago I was in a job that I really didn't like. Didn't feel like it mattered if I was there or not. Feeling like I would never find a good job that would pay me enough. Also just having a hard time dealing with some people in my life. Also feeling like I would never pay off my debt. Now look at me. I am in a job that challenges me everyday. Working with people that I love (not all of the them but they know who they are). Feeling like I am appreciated . My roommates are amazing. I don't get to hang with them much but they are great people! How crazy that I found them on Craigslist!!! I just found out yesterday that I got a job a PT job at Hotel Hershey. Hoping that job will help me pay of my car 2 years early!

All of this can only be explained by the grace of God. I could have not pulled this all together myself. God is good!

Now just waiting for one more thing to go my way! :-P

Updates!! Updates!!! Updates!!!

It has been awhile since I have posted anything on here. Here are the updates! Feel free to ask me if you wanted to know about something I did not cover in this post!

Update on the Job:
I still like my job! Still have much to learn! Soon I should be an expert in all things dental. I am getting my first dentist visit in years soon. Here's to hoping that nothing is wrong!

Update on the New Place:
I am pretty much settled in to my new place. I am sad that some of my furniture got damaged in the move. This is what happens when you get Marc Rev as a packer! By the way I am totally joking about it that! I am very thankful that Marc helped me. He is the man that practically moved my entertainment center all by himself! I think I lost stuff in the move. Now sure how that happened. I guess some things did not want to move or are doing a good job of hiding in boxes. The roommates are great! No complaints at this point! By the way, we have an extra bed so feel free to come visit me!

Life is weird right now. That may not have been the best word to use. I picked up everything and moved to Lancaster County. A very different place where I know no one. I started a new job in an industry that I know nothing about. Took me 1 1/2 months before finding a church I actually enjoyed attending (still missing Harvest). That all sounds crazy but I have no regrets. I miss my friends especially my BFF and my brother but loving the idea of meeting new people. I went from being surrounded by Christians and knowing very few non-Christians. Now I know more non-Christians than Christians. Missing the Christian community but also making me very careful about what I do and say. A very different experience than I have had in years. After all these changes and unknown (I hate the unknown), God has given me a sense of excitement for whats to come and peace about everything. Everything has not been what I had expected.

Randomness!
1. Not looking forward to getting a PA license plate because then I can't use bad some of my bad driving move on being from out of state. Also afraid that I will turn into a PA driver (not a good thing)!
2. Learned that no one has yard sales on Sundays. Multiple restaurants are not even open on Sundays.
3. Loves having a uniform for work so I don't have to figure out what to wear everyday. Wishes though that I didn't have to wear gray everyday.
4. Running feel pretty good. Now to just become consistent with my running.
5. Still have yet to find some NASCAR friends.
6. If you come visit me in the winter, we will go see the wolves!
7. Picking good peaches is harder than it looks.
8. Loves how I am getting paid less an hour than my previous job but I gross about the same. Yeah for IL not taking all my money! Yeah for 6% tax! Yeah for $3.60 a gallon gas!!
9. I keep finding myself talking to the cats like they are people! How sad!
10. Wonders how the Amish deal with the heat with no AC or fans???

I hope you are all doing well. I hope that you all can come visit me sometime soon!!

The PA Experience

Things I am Still Getting Adjusted To:
1. Ducks will jump out in front of your car will all of their baby ducks.
2. No one knows how to merge onto a highway without making a complete stop.
3. Target is not right around the corner.
4. Churches are not like Harvest. :(
5. Everyone my age seems to be married and has kids.
6. Things are not as I thought they would be
7. Every exit looks like the last exit so I have to pay attention

I will start out that I am glad that I moved to PA. I like my job even though it kicks my butt everyday. But things are not as I thought they would be. Still trying to figure out where God is directing me in all this. I am still looking for a place to live. I have seen a few people about being their roommates. I did find some people I really liked in a nice townhouse. They are not Christians and a couple living together. I know that does not sound ideal but would be a good situation. Not what I thought would be my first choice. I am also still looking for a church. So far churches seem to be seeker friendly churches or very traditional churches. I have visited 2 churches so far and neither one felt like a place I could call home. I had hoped to be apart of the Harvest church plant in West Philly but it is over an hour away. So it is not looking like something I could be heavily apart of. I am hoping to be involved somehow but until I know where I am living and such, I will not know my exact level of involvement. I really don't have any friends yet. I had a friend that lives in the area but that looks like it will not work out after all. So I have no one my age to hang out with. I just hang out with the family I am currently living with. They have 4 kids under the age of 8. It is a very interesting house. Their youngest is so super cute that I never am bothered by hanging out with him. For those who don't know, I am not a kid person but this little guy has won my heart. So far the only thing that is the way I thought it would be is my job. It is crazy and so much to learn but will be great once I really get a handle on things. I work with some fun people. Job stuff is going pretty good.
After reading that, please do not think I am sad or depressed in any way. Things are tough and I knew that coming in. They have just been tougher than I thought. At the same time, God is showing me that He has a plan for all this. It was not what I thought it was but there is a plan in motion. I am trying to keep pressing on and see what tomorrow brings!
Things to pray for:
1. Living in a house with 4 kids means it gets hard for me to have time to myself to get into the Word. Pray that I will find a way to fit something in everyday. I can feel how much I am needing words of encouragement from God.
2. Since moving, I feel so disorganized to the point that I am so unfocused for prayer. Prayer was what kept me strong while I waited for a job. But now seems to not be a strong part in my life. I can feel how much I need it but still do not fit it in. I know it is laziness and discouragement that keeps me from spending quality time with my Father.
3. Finding a church is hard. I really don't want to just settle for a church but I also don't want to be so picky that I am never happy with a church. Finding a church that I love and find friends that will encourage and help me to keep going.
4. Recently I have been discouraged about being single. A good chunk of that is not having any single friends my age in PA. Please pray that I will meet an amazing Christian man or at least some single Christian friends.
5. I would really like to get in shape. A few obstacles right now are not cooking for myself, only have super hilly roads around me, and having no way to get in some strength training. Pray that things start to come into place and I figure out how to make working out apart of my daily routine again!

Thanks for reading this and praying for me! I miss you all and hope that you will all come visit me once I have a place to live!

Keep Praying!

I got back from my NJ trip on Wed night. Here is what happened:

Visit to the Zoo

Dinner with my dad

Early Tues morning for my interview in PA

Dinner with my mom

Got to see my nephew Zach

Super early morning for the second half of my interview in PA

Fly back to Chicago

I seemed to always be moving and getting up super early on this trip. Didn't feel like much of a vacation. I wish I could take a vacation and just sit on the beach!

On to my interview, it is for the Admin team of a dentist office in Lancaster, PA. It is an impressive place. I would be rotating through call center (making appointments and answering questions), billing, checking in patients, and checking out patients. My schedule would be a little crazy with night and Sat hours. I think I would really like this job. There would be loads to learn but would be fast paced and challenging me all the time. I could see myself staying at this job for awhile. It was a four part interview that they fit into 2 days so I would not need to make a special trip. I am super grateful that I was able to get it all in on this trip. It just meant a lot of driving. I drove 10 hours in 2 days just in regards to the interview. But seeing beautiful PA makes the time go by pretty quick. Also the weather was amazing (Sunny and 80!). It was hard getting off the plane in Chicago in 50 degree weather. Oh Spring will you ever come to Chicago? So now I am waiting to hear back from them. Not sure what their time line is for deciding. After the last job, I hope it is sooner than 2 months. The only downside to this job would be the distance from the Harvest church plant in West Philly. But I am still hoping that I could still manage to be apart of with this job. If I get this job, I would need to find temp housing within 30 minutes of Lancaster. Planning on staying with people for free or small amount of money for 1-2 months. Then I should be able to find housing. There could be a possibility of living alone!! Depending on what is available when I move. This seems like a great location and good job. Now I just need them to say You are Hired!!! Keep praying and thanks for all your prayers.

Side note for all my Chicago friends: Gas in NJ was 3.71 and PA was 3.89. Another reason for me to move to PA!!

Wow God!

I usually leave more time in between posts but I had to write about what happened this morning.

I am going to NJ next week to see my mom. I had wanted at least one interview while I was there. This morning God opened the door wide. I scheduled 2 interviews for next week and maybe a third. This is just Tuesday! So pumped at how God worked it all out. Who knows maybe God will blow me away again tomorrow!

1st Interview is Monday at 1:30pm
2nd Interview is Tuesday at 9am

Keep Praying!! Thanks for being such supportive friends!

Learning Process

In case you didn't know, I did not get the job that I was been waiting to hear from for 2 months. So the search continues. I have felt many emotions this week.
My first reaction was determination. I spent hours applying for every job I could find. Praying that God would bless one of them! So positive that my move would still happen soon. Believing that God is the only one that can make anything happen. Trust and wait for him.
Then I felt confusion. Confused about whether it was a good idea to move to PA. Questioned all of my motivations. Still didn't feel like I should be staying in Chicago. Just confused what I should be doing and what the next step would be.
Then feeling discouraged. Feeling like no matter what I do nothing will ever change. I will be stuck in the same place forever. Maybe I should just give up on my desire to move to PA. Give up on all my reasons for moving.
Then I got in a crazy place of wanting to step out in faith. I wanted to apply for a job at the camp I grew up at. It was a great job which would have been exactly what I wanted and give me some amazing skills to find a job after the internship would end. Big problem was money. If I had not made some bad money choices years ago, the pay would have been fine. But no way for me to pay the bills I have now. Kind of felt like I was being reminded and punished for my bad decisions.
Then I found a cheap flight to NJ. Tossed the idea of going to see my mom during her spring break. Concerns  were having no interviews, spending money I am saving for a move, and using vacation days I was saving for job interviews. Maybe in a moment of insanity or maybe amazing trust, I bought a plane ticket for April 25-27. Now I am praying hard that I will not only get to see my mom but that I would get 1-3 interviews. I know I might sound crazy but I know that God can do it! Waiting on Him!
Right now, I am unsure how I feel. All I know is that I started crying in church today when I realized how big my God is and how much I had questioned and doubted Him this week. I still believe that God wants me to move to PA. It is hard for me to understand why God is not allowing it at this time. I want to move tomorrow. I am not scared to move (not a normal reaction for me) but I am scared to stay and continue to run from my family.
For all the people who think that I am crazy, I have a long list of reasons why I know that this is the right thing to do. If you are one of those people who keep telling me that I should stay, please know that it is important for me to have the support of my friends. I am not moving to run away from anything or I think PA offers a better life. It is the next step in healing my ties with my family. Something I have only been willing to do for about 6 months. Please encourage me and pray for me even if you don't understand it.

Waiting, Waiting, and more Waiting

As you may know I had a job interview on Feb 14th. People keep asking how it went or if I got the job. I will set the record straight. I am still waiting to hear about the job. Some have told me to give up and move on. Others told that it is unlikely but wait for an answer. Others told me that this process can take awhile. I will say this that whatever happens with this job, God has taught me alot through this time. Don't get me wrong I really want this job for many reasons! But I stink at waiting for anything. I know how to deal with disappointment or excitement but not knowing what is ahead is hard for me to handle. I tend to give up and mess it all up all myself. This time I want to make sure that everything is in God's timing and on His terms. Easier said than done especially when it involves something that you really want. Over the last month and half, I realize how much I want to move to PA. Maybe it is this job or not, God will move me to PA. I have gotten some clarity on my motivations for moving. I am coming to grips why some of those reasons are legitimate even if I think I don't deserve them. The biggest way that Satan has tried to get me to doubt is by telling me that I don't deserve to have what I desire. There are times that I have really thought that was true. But God continually keeps showing me in His Word,  through books, and through people that it is by God's grace that I can have what I desire. It has nothing to do with my past or anything that I have done. God loves me and WANTS to bless me! That is the biggest reason that I have not given up hope on hearing about this job. God has the ability to get me the job at Sila Heating and Air Conditioning as a Sales Assistant. That takes no effort on his part. He could have given me an answer about the job over a month ago. But God wants to teach me so much though waiting. I still don't have an answer but I pray everyday that I will get the call that day that I got the job!

Recently reading someone's blog, he had to ask himself if he really woke up everyday and really believed that he would be healed that day. It got me to thinking if I really believed that today would be the day that I got the job. This week, I am praying every morning that I would get the call that day and wait expectantly for God to work. I would ask that you would join me in this prayer. Please pray everyday this week that I would get the job that day! I would also encourage you to pray that way for something that you are waiting for. I would love to pray for you every day this week too. Let me know what you are waiting on God for!

Off the topic of my move, I have started running again and watching what I eat. Not sure if I have a goal right now. Mainly just trying to fit better in the clothes that I already have. I gained about 10-15 lbs over the last 6 months. I was letting my emotions get the best of me and I became very lazy. So now I am trying to exercise 4-5 times a week. I thought that I would be running 2 miles for awhile just trying to get some stamina back. I am proud to say that I completed a 5 mile run yesterday in 35 degree weather. Not sure how running makes me feel closer to God but it does. It is time that I can spend listening to Christian music and lay my burdens before him (I need to be distracted to run)! This is one more thing that helps make waiting easier.

I have posted all this to give you some encouragement with whatever you are waiting for no matter how impossible it seems. The question you have to ask yourself is Has waiting grown my faith or has it made me doubt who God is? I have had some ups and downs dealing with this move. It is always easier to handle when I put it all in God's hands and wait expectantly for Him to work. This is not the only thing I am waiting for right now. It is what I feel I wanted to share with all of you. Please let me know if there is anything specific I can pray about this week!

In November, I got a crazy idea that I would move to eastern PA to be closer to my family. I also spent the last four years away from my family. It helped me deal with some tough issues and has made me stronger to deal with my crazy family. When I told people that I wanted to move, I got many different responses. Some excited and sad all at the same time. Some doubtful that I would ever move from the Chicago area. Some discouraging remarks about the economy and getting a job out of state. Some had questions that I never felt like I could answer well. Even after all of that, I had a peace about moving. I have never been good at trusting God. I will wait on God but I need to worry about everything. Somehow God took all the worry out of moving. I knew He wanted me to focus on applying for jobs and making contacts. Everything else was up to Him. Through all of this God has been showing, teaching, and encouraging me.

Lessons:
1. Even the most well intention Christians can be discouraging when they fail to see what trusting God means.
2. Sometimes you have to dream and pray big. Nothing is too big for God.
3. Expect God to answer your prayers. Pray specific prayers.
4. God saying No is not a bad thing even if it might feel like it.
5. How quickly I would lose faith and trust when I was not in the Word for only one or two days.
6. Friends are amazing!

Some Amazing Verses:
Ps 3: 5
Ps 16:5
Ps 17:15
Ps 25:15
Ps 27:14
Ps 32:8
Ps 37:24
Can you tell I have been reading through the Psalms?

Now for the exciting part!!! I have an interview for a job in PA on Monday at 9am!!! It is located in King of Prussia, PA which is very close to the Harvest Bible Chapel that is being planted!!! The starting pay is what I am making now!!! The sounds sounds like something I would love!! It gets better! On the same day I got this interview, a man called me to talk to me about an office manager job that I applied for. He was shocked to know that I would be in the area on Monday. I am still waiting for him to call me back about when would be a good time to come in. This was all God!! I could never have planned this. It still gets better!!! I applied to a bunch of jobs. I specifically prayed about these two jobs. I actually prayed about 3 jobs. I still think God can make the 3rd one work out before Monday. I prayed that in one trip to PA I would get interviews at the 3 companies and one would offer me a job. I was overwhelmed when I got calls from 2 out the 3 wanting an interview. I will find out next week if the second half of my prayer will be answered!!

To tell you the truth: When I started writing this tonight, I was going to share how I am scared that what I have wanted would actually come true. As I started writing, God settled all my fears and reminded me that He is in control. I thought it would be more encouraging for you to hear how God is working in my life at the moment.

Please pray for my interview on Monday at 9am EST. Please pray that I will be able to get the second interview. Pray for safe travels for me as I am flying on Sunday night and Tues morning. Pray that I relax and enjoy my short trip to PA. Thanks for praying!!

You May Have Heard This Before

For those of you that have read my notes and blogs, this may all sound like repeat. For those that may be new to reading this, I use this as accountability, transparency, and prayer. I also hope that somewhere along the way, my journey brings encouragement to someone.

About 2 years ago, I decided that I was going to get serious about losing weight. I did and lost almost 40 pounds! Since then, it has been an up and down battle with eating healthy and working out. There are many reasons for that. I am a stress eater. This last year has been stressful especially with dealing with my friends and my job. Once I stop eating good, the less I care about working out. Didn't help that I can no longer afford a gym membership. So now I am relying on the fitness center at Harvest and running in the mornings to get some much needed exercise. At this point I work out about 2 times a week. So an attempt to get myself motivated, I am going to organize another Biggest Loser contest with my friends. I think there needs to be a prize this time! If you are interested in joining let me know. I am not exactly sure when we start but probably in the next couple of weeks. To be completely honest, I have been down about my weight recently. I have gained about 10 pounds back. I don't want this to be something Satan uses to bring me down and not press forward. Pray that I will focus less on the weight and more on being healthy. Pray that I can get up at 5am to run miles in the cold weather a couple times a week. This seems to be the only way to get exercise in my schedule during the week.

This may not come as shock to some of you. I am looking to move in the next couple of months. I know some of you are thinking that I have been saying this for 3 years now. I have wanted to move for a couple years now. Each time fear stopped me from being really serious about it. Fear that there is no way to find a job in this economy especially not in another state. Fear that there is no way for me to afford a move. Fear that moving means making new friends and leaving amazing friends behind. Fear that I would never find a church I would love more than Harvest. Even though these fears are still there, I am not letting them get the best of me. I know that God is bigger than this economy and only with His help will finding a job in another state happen. God has given me a part time job that I kind of don't like but I remind myself that I am light in a dark place and that I need the money if I want to move. Still scared to meet new people (I am so not good with new people) but I am hoping that between church and the few people I know already that I will be ok. The whole finding a new church was solved by my buddy Drew who told me that Harvest is planting a church in King of Prussia (Philly). How amazing to be apart of a Harvest Bible Chapel at the beginning. I am excited about that. Now I just need to get a job and live somewhat near there! I have an amazing peace about moving. I will miss some great people in Chicago when I leave but I know that will stay in touch and connected. Moving near my best friend's parents means I at least get to see her on the holidays!! Even after all that, I know some of you think I am crazy and this statement might shock you even more. I want to move to be closer to my family. They are crazy and maybe annoying but they are family. One day I hope to have a family and I don't want to live 12 hours from those crazy people but 1-2 hours is a good buffer! Pray that I will find a job in the Philly/Lancaster/Reading/Harrisburg area that pays me enough. Pray that I will find a place to live whether by myself (only by a miracle), with a roommate, or with an amazingly generous family. Pray that I figure out the most cost effective way to move my stuff. Pray this happens within the next month!

I am in the middle of waiting for God to act. I know He has something amazing planned. He gives me little bits of encouragement and excitement about moving. I know He working right now but I have no idea when it will all come together. I am not good at waiting. It is something I pray about everyday. I want all of this to be for God's glory!

If you know of a possible job in the Philly/Lancaster/Reading/Harrisburg area, let me know. I am mainly looking at admin jobs but I am not opposed to something different. I recently applied to be a floral store manager. I am just looking for something that I would love to do and I am pretty open at the moment.

P.S. For those that know my family, please say nothing of my possible move. I have told them nothing except that I wanted to move to Nashville. That is true but not where the Lord is directing me. Saving that moment for when I have a job and get to make my mom's year!

I hope you are all doing well. Feel free to send me emails, texts, or FB messages and let me know how I can pray for you. The New Years Resolution I have is to be more intentional about praying for my friends and family! You are loved!